“Old Friends” Watercolor by Mary G. Byrne

In recent times, some thinkers have postulated that modern friendships have lost the impact and importance that they used to have in antiquity. For instance, C. S. Lewis, in his The Four Loves, writes:

“To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it.

It seems the ease by which connections are made today is matched by the ease with which it dissipates. I believe the quality of life that we live today has a lot to do with it. We seem to be always in a hurry and in constant motion. Even the late president Franklin D. Roosevelt, as early as 60 plus years ago observed: “Never before have we had so little time in which to do so much.”

When God created man, He declared:

This seems basic in human interaction, for in Ecclesiastes 4 we read:

In Proverbs it further says:

True lasting friendship may not be achieved or sustained without the following basic, axiomatic foundations present in the relationship:

1. Commonness. For lack of better term, I used the word commonness. It is natural for people of similar or common interest, needs, goals or beliefs to be drawn together.

This commonness serves as a bond between friends or members of a group. Without this commonness, it is difficult for people to stick together.

God’s people has a special type of friendship. This friendship is called fellowship. The most important denominator in the fellowship of God’s people is God Himself and Christ.

It is interesting to note that the original Greek work for “fellowship” literally means “participation”. Fellowship, and friendship in general, is not passive - it involves active participation. Without this participation relationships would lack a sense belongingness, degenerate into trivial acquaintance and ultimately break up.

2. Trust. This is a critical foundation of friendship. People, understandably, are generally reluctant to open up - wary of rejection. So they tend to show only part of their true self – especially their thought and intention. That is due to lack of trust. Unless this barrier is hurdled, the relationship gets stunted if it will even survive at all. Our best example of true friend is Jesus. Jesus considered and treated His disciples – that includes us - as true friends:

Jesus kept back nothing that He received from the Father from His disciples, because he trusted them. Even the God of Abraham in His high heavenly throne, considered and treated Abraham as His true friend.

Should it be any different with us humans?

3. Commitment.

Needless to say, “at all times” includes both bad times and good times. It takes commitment for any friendship to last. Christ’s example is that he even laid down His life for His friends.

True friendship is a good thing. But it does not just happen. It requires effort to lay and nurture the basic building blocks that ensures its enduring quality. Jesus also showed that true lasting friendship transcends age, station in life or any divide - natural or otherwise.

¹ Study: 25% of Americans have no one to confide in. USA Today, June 22, 2006.
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